We, as people, have a tendency of glorifying the dead. The harsh realization that someone you love is gone forever is a hard pill to swallow. Sometimes we take it too far. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t remember the good times and all the beauty they bestowed upon our lives. The reason many of us tend to glorify is because we didn’t tell them enough when they were alive how much they meant. How important they were and how they made us strong, happy and feel so incredibly loved.
I lost my last Grandmother (my Father’s Mom) at the end of August. I definitely did not tell her how much she meant to me. I did not make the time to go see her. I know she’s forgiven me and understands why, but I don’t think I will ever forgive myself. A phone call once a month to check in- was that too much to ask? Why couldn’t I do that?
Today is the 10th Anniversary of my Granddaddy’s death. (My Mother’s Dad). I took the time to write a Facebook status honoring him but words aren’t enough. He knew how much I loved him, I think, but I could have told him more often.
Now I have my Father’s Dad left and My Step-Grandfather who was married to the Grandma I lost a few months ago. After they are gone, I will start to lost Aunts, Uncles and my biggest nightmare- My own Mother and Father.
I try to love and talk about love and give love as often as I can. At least, I thought I did. But something distracts me, or I’m afraid of someone telling me I’m cheesy, or I think “I’ve got time.”
Here is the biggest lie you’ve ever learned. There is NO TIME. ZIP. ZERO. NEGATIVE.
You’ve got THIS ONE MOMENT that you’re in right now. It’s all you’ve ever got. Don’t be fooled by the calendar with those days stretching ahead, and your vacation plans, or your hopes for the future. Those are illusions meant to keep us moving.
In reality, we always have just RIGHT NOW.
Since our lives are really just a series of right nows that eventually add up to years, let’s remember that we have no idea how many more right nows we have left.
Say what you want, because you’ll never get the chance to say it again. Call your Grandparents for crying out loud.
Tell someone you love them while you have the chance. You have RIGHT NOW to tell her she’s beautiful. Or to give your child a hug and read them a book.
I’m going to really push myself to recognize each moment while it happens and make sure I say whatever I feel. Even if I get made fun of, or the person doesn’t reciprocate, or I just seem weird- I am going to say:
“I admire you.”
“Hello. How are you?”
“I LOVE YOU.”
And I’m going to mean it.
Try this experiment for yourself. Tell that girl on the train you think her boots are fantastic. I always get a great response from that.
And you’ve just made her day.
I LOVE YOU ALL.